We often dream of a simpler time when Mario just moved left to right and your success on a level had nothing to do with depth perception. It relied entirely on luck and memorising patterns. In celebration of those glory days we made these white framed purple lensed beauties. Hopefully on Mario’s 87th concussion the sun won’t burn quite so bright. F*** the sun. Especially that angry one. GAMERS GO OUTSIDE TOO Classic shape with new levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you're running laps on a track or perfecting your avatar. No Slip: We use special grip coating to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: Our frame is crafted to be feather-weight yet snug with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing when running. All Polarised: Glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS Yes wretched mortal I am thy God of Art!!! Subscribe to my YouTube channel and smash that like button so thou dost not get smited. Plus I am thy God of archery music and dance. Mine own godly twerking puts Megan Thee Stallion to shame! Also I am thy God of truth and prophecy healing and diseases the Sun and light and poetry. Liketh it not? Too many things-eth? WELL TOO F***ING-ETH BAD!!!Apollo-Gize for Nothing Specifications Non-Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS Petrified of being petrified by Medusa? These shades will 100% help. They're inspired by Athena goddess of warfare wisdom and handicraft. (Oooh triple major.) She DESTROYED the arrogant Arachne in a weaving duel. (Weaving duels were the rap battles of The Old Days.) She sprang from the head of Zeus when he developed a nasty headache. (Ticking off toxic dudes from birth? Yasss kween.) AND she rocks Medusa's head on her shield to turn enemies to stone. (Weird flex but ok.) Hey it's just how she rolls. Athena Is as Athena Does. Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS Family reunions are weird. You gather with people you barely know. You have to do things you don't enjoy like eat Great-Aunt Twylas sketchy potato-and-cat-hair-salad. You think Grandpa Garrett is sleeping only to find out at the end of the night he died which means you were playing dumb games like "water balloon toss" in front of a CORPSE. But here's one thing you can be thankful for: You're not at the goddess Hera's Awkward Family Reunion where 90% of the guests are her brother/husband's bastard offspring. Oof. Good luck girl. Specifications Gradient Dark Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS OF COURSE everyone came!!! Everyone knows Dionysus the god of wine general ecstasy fruits & vegetables (many of them phallic) throws THE best orgies in town.*(*Well maybe after Carl the Flamingo.) Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS You know how you get all that junk mail advertising cheap microwaves and 12-packs of taquitos for $0.69 and you just toss it in the trash without a second thought? Where do you think it all goes? The landfill? Nah Hermes thrives off that sh*t. Swooping in and living it up on all your discarded doorbuster deals. Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIL F*KIN GOODRS: SMALLER IS BALLER A bigger head doesn't mean that you're smarter it just means you have a bigger head...It also means that you can't get on my level with these new perfectly petite Get On My Level LFG sunnies made for small noggins...So there. MIDDLE SEAT ADVANTAGE We know what you're thinking the middle seat SUCKS.That's where you're wrong. The middle seat is where the best action is!!! Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running or crushing any workout. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. Perfectly Petite: These lil goodrs are perfectly suited for petite noggins.
LIL F*KIN GOODRS: SMALLER IS BALLER A bigger head doesn't mean that you're smarter it just means you have a bigger head...It also means that you can't get on my level with these new perfectly petite Get On My Level LFG sunnies made for small noggins...So there. NEVER THE BIG SPOON Could you actually be royalty?!Carl the Flamingo recently made a shocking discovery about his own noble ancestry. Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running or crushing any workout. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. Perfectly Petite: These lil goodrs are perfectly suited for petite noggins.
Bosley dog of goodr is a living (for now) legend at 91. What does Bosley King of Hounds dream about? Whatever the heck wants. THE OGs: THE FRAMES THAT STARTED IT ALL Classic shape with new levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you're haulin' ass down a mountain trail or drinking beers in a Mexican cantina. No Slip: Special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: The frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: Glare-reducing polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
INTRODUCING I DO TO THE OPEN BAR Do you lonely single person take this boring wedding's open bar to be your nightlong partner to perch at and abuse from this moment forward for happy-drunk and for sad-drunk for awkward comments to friends and for awkward comments to strangers in sickness tonight and in sickness tomorrow to love deeply and to twerk on top of till security drags you out of the banquet hall kicking and screaming? Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIL F*KIN GOODRS: SMALLER IS BALLER A bigger head doesn't mean that you're smarter it just means you have a bigger head...It also means that you can't get on my level with these new perfectly petite Get On My Level LFG sunnies made for small noggins...So there. SHRIMPIN AIN'T EASY If you've ever been turned away from a roller coaster for being too short to ride you know...It ain't easy out here for a shrimp. Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running or crushing any workout. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. Perfectly Petite: These lil goodrs are perfectly suited for petite noggins.
FOR THE SCHOLAR ON A BUDGET: PHG Have you ever dreamed of starting your life over as a prospector on an off-world colony mining orgone crystals in outer space?! This gray double bridge round sunglasses can be considered a writeoff then. Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. No Dissertation: no one has ever given a dissertation to a doctorate panel wearing PHGs. Yet.
TROPICAL OPTICALS: STEP INTO SUMMERTIME Welcome ashore! Meet TROPICAL OPTICALS our all-new line of sunnies. These island-themed goodrs will have you knee-deep in rum and beach vibes before you can say 'Carl caught curled krill by the colorful coral.' Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Hipster/Influencer/Dystopian Future Rebel:Whatever persona you're channeling we guarantee no one wearing goodrs has ever been mistaken for not being cool. Or dope. Or whatever the lit people are saying these days.
PISTOL SQUAAAAAD Listen if you want to make your face look 10x better while sweating profusely during your 57th pistol... these pink frame BFGs with teal polarized lenses are for you. (Also we know that you posted a photo of yourself and wrote a caption that you did 57 pistols but we know that you didn't. You did exactly 12 pistols spread over the 7 takes you did to perfect your form your hair and your sweat - which came from a spray bottle placed just out of frame.) BAMF Gs: BEAST [BLEEPING] GOODRS With wider frames longer arms and bigger lenses than our OGs these babies are designed to complement and fit beasters with larger melons. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. No Demogorgans: 100% Guarantee against Demogorgan attacks. *Guarantee not applicable for any gainz taking place in the Upside Down.
Goodr PHG Fossil Finding SunglassesWho needs a PHD when you can wear a PHG? The Goodr PHG Fossil Finding Sunglasses deliver a distinguished design and high-performance fit.Slip free, the PHG Sunglasses feature a special grip coating which eliminates slippage – even when sweating. The distinguished double nose bridge completes the sunglasses’ snug and lightweight fit which ensures a stabilised, no-bounce fit.The PHG Sunglasses are engineered with glare-reducing, polarised lenses and shield your vision with UV400 protection.FeaturesSpecial grip frame coating for a no-slip fitDistinguished double nose bridgeSnug and lightweight frame ensures a comfortable fitNo bounce designGlare-reducing, polarised lensesUV400 protection blocks out 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB raysGreat for running, beasting, biking, and moreBuy Goodr Sports Sunglasses from Chain Reaction Cycles, the World's Largest Online Bike Store.
Goodr PHG Dr Ray Sting SunglassesWho needs a PHD when you can wear a PHG? The Goodr PHG Dr Ray Sting Sunglasses deliver a distinguished design and high-performance fit.Slip free, the PHG Sunglasses feature a special grip coating which eliminates slippage – even when sweating. The distinguished double nose bridge completes the sunglasses’ snug and lightweight fit which ensures a stabilised, no-bounce fit.The PHG Sunglasses are engineered with glare-reducing, polarised lenses and shield your vision with UV400 protection.FeaturesSpecial grip frame coating for a no-slip fitDistinguished double nose bridgeSnug and lightweight frame ensures a comfortable fitNo bounce designGlare-reducing, polarised lensesUV400 protection blocks out 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB raysGreat for running, beasting, biking, and moreBuy Goodr Sports Sunglasses from Chain Reaction Cycles, the World's Largest Online Bike Store.
Goodr PHG Stay Fly Ornithologists SunglassesWho needs a PHD when you can wear a PHG? The Goodr PHG Stay Fly Ornithologists Sunglasses deliver a distinguished design and high-performance fit.Slip free, the PHG Sunglasses feature a special grip coating which eliminates slippage – even when sweating. The distinguished double nose bridge completes the sunglasses’ snug and lightweight fit which ensures a stabilised, no-bounce fit.The PHG Sunglasses are engineered with glare-reducing, polarised lenses and shield your vision with UV400 protection.FeaturesSpecial grip frame coating for a no-slip fitDistinguished double nose bridgeSnug and lightweight frame ensures a comfortable fitNo bounce designGlare-reducing, polarised lensesUV400 protection blocks out 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB raysGreat for running, beasting, biking, and moreBuy Goodr Sports Sunglasses from Chain Reaction Cycles, the World's Largest Online Bike Store.
No Slip Treated with a special grip coating, the Goodr PHG Fossil Finding Focals Sunglasses therefore helping to eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce The Goodr PHG Fossil Finding Focals Sunglasses’ frame features a distinguished double nose bridge, with a snug, lightweight fit that ensures maximum comfort and enhanced stability. Polarised The Goodr PHG Sunglasses are engineered with glare-reducing polarised lenses, which deliver UV400 protection – blocking out 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. Behind the Name - Fossil Finding Focals Goodr say: “For finding fragile fossils, fashionable functional 'ffordable focals frequently foster fantastic fortune! False feeble foes fail fast. Finally, fastidious finesse! Flamboyant flamingos feel felicity! Fatuous fools fall flat! Fortify fondness!!! Frolic freely!!! Furnish fun!!! FLY!!!!!”
No Slip Treated with a special grip coating, the Goodr PHG Stay Fly Ornithologists Sunglasses therefore helping to eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce The Goodr PHG Stay Fly Ornithologists Sunglasses’ frame features a distinguished double nose bridge, with a snug, lightweight fit that ensures maximum comfort and enhanced stability. Polarised The Goodr PHG Sunglasses are engineered with glare-reducing polarised lenses, which deliver UV400 protection – blocking out 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. Behind the Name - Stay Fly Ornithologists Goodr say: “Don't be a dodo!!! Spread your wings and soar with Stay Fly, Ornithologists PHG sunglasses. These professorial frames won't slip or bounce while you live your best life. Unlike the dodos, who lived on the island Mauritius, and watched all their eggs get eaten by pigs, cats and monkeys. What a bunch of losers! We're not trying to scare you or anything, but the dodo made absolutely zero attempts to stay fly, and now it's extinct. Nuff said.”
No Slip Treated with a special grip coating, the Goodr PHG Dr Ray Sting Sunglasses therefore helping to eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce The Goodr PHG Dr Ray Sting Sunglasses’ frame features a distinguished double nose bridge, with a snug, lightweight fit that ensures maximum comfort and enhanced stability. Polarised The Goodr PHG Sunglasses are engineered with glare-reducing polarised lenses, which deliver UV400 protection – blocking out 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.