LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS This is Ares. He has like... no chill. Don't piss him off unless you want him to jab you with that pointy spear. He is filled with rage AND he loves gore. We just hope you've had your tetanus shot. Although no tetanus shot is required for these Ares Has Like...No Chill sunnies. Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS Petrified of being petrified by Medusa? These shades will 100% help. They're inspired by Athena goddess of warfare wisdom and handicraft. (Oooh triple major.) She DESTROYED the arrogant Arachne in a weaving duel. (Weaving duels were the rap battles of The Old Days.) She sprang from the head of Zeus when he developed a nasty headache. (Ticking off toxic dudes from birth? Yasss kween.) AND she rocks Medusa's head on her shield to turn enemies to stone. (Weird flex but ok.) Hey it's just how she rolls. Athena Is as Athena Does. Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS "You are cordially invited to Demeter's Farm to Table Feast. Please follow the rules.1. If you sneak in any store-bought trash like "mayochup" she will turn you into a gecko.2. Don't ask Demeter when she's getting married. She's not. Get over it Rhea.3. NO PHONES AT THE TABLE PERSEPHONE. Mama only sees you 6 months a year.4. Whoever brings up politics gets three months of famine.5. Wear her sunnies because they don't slip or bounce AND you can sneakily check everyone out in their skimpy togas.Sincerely Demeter. Yes I'm writing about myself in the 3rd person. So what? FIGHT ME." Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS OF COURSE everyone came!!! Everyone knows Dionysus the god of wine general ecstasy fruits & vegetables (many of them phallic) throws THE best orgies in town.*(*Well maybe after Carl the Flamingo.) Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS Hades gets a bad wrap. Let's compliment the God of the Dead.1.GREAT ruler. The Underworld attracts more than 50 million permanent visitors a year!2. HE HAS A DOGGO!!! When Cerberus gives Hades three-headed dog kisses it's so cute.3. He's not petty or vain. So he probably won't like these compliments. Oh well! Hades Gonna Hate*.*These sunglasses won't slip or bounce while crossing the river Styx. Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS You know how you get all that junk mail advertising cheap microwaves and 12-packs of taquitos for $0.69 and you just toss it in the trash without a second thought? Where do you think it all goes? The landfill? Nah Hermes thrives off that sh*t. Swooping in and living it up on all your discarded doorbuster deals. Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIL F*KIN GOODRS: SMALLER IS BALLER A bigger head doesn't mean that you're smarter it just means you have a bigger head...It also means that you can't get on my level with these new perfectly petite Get On My Level LFG sunnies made for small noggins...So there. MIDDLE SEAT ADVANTAGE We know what you're thinking the middle seat SUCKS.That's where you're wrong. The middle seat is where the best action is!!! Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running or crushing any workout. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. Perfectly Petite: These lil goodrs are perfectly suited for petite noggins.
LIL F*KIN GOODRS: SMALLER IS BALLER A bigger head doesn't mean that you're smarter it just means you have a bigger head...It also means that you can't get on my level with these new perfectly petite Get On My Level LFG sunnies made for small noggins...So there. NEVER THE BIG SPOON Could you actually be royalty?!Carl the Flamingo recently made a shocking discovery about his own noble ancestry. Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running or crushing any workout. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. Perfectly Petite: These lil goodrs are perfectly suited for petite noggins.
EXTREME SCUFFLE Bringing tentacles to a fistfight is a sure way to whoop some ass!!! You're outnumbered!!! Outmuscled!!! Your fists mean nothing here human!!! Bring your best fighter and watch them get drop-kicked with ease!!! Wooooooo!!!!! Look Ma No Hands!!!! Features No Slip: We use a special grip coating and temple grips to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when your lava-induced sweat pops while volcano surfing. No Bounce: Our frame is fitted and lightweight with a removable nose-piece and two sizing options to prevent bouncing when you land on your motorcycle seat after diving out of a helicopter. Anti-Fog: Extremely effective anti-fog coating prevents the inside of this extreme wraparound lens from fogging even with the extremest sweat. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun: YOU MIGHT BE AN EXTREME ATHLETE YOU MIGHT BE A PRETTY AVERAGE ATHLETE WHO IS EXTREMELY DELUSIONAL. BOTH EXTREMELY EXTREME EXTREMISTS YEAHHHHHAHARGHHHHHWOOOOOHOOOOOOO
'His famed Starry Night painting was inspired from an overnight 72K race he lost to Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec. You can't make this stuff up sober.' Classic shape with new levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you're haulin' ass down a mountain trail or drinking beers in a Mexican cantina. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIL F*KIN GOODRS: SMALLER IS BALLER A bigger head doesn't mean that you're smarter it just means you have a bigger head...It also means that you can't get on my level with these new perfectly petite Get On My Level LFG sunnies made for small noggins...So there. LOOKING TO FEEL INSPIRED?! See how a tiny badass rejected frat pledge & living laughing loving divorcee all came out on top!!! Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running or crushing any workout. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. Perfectly Petite: These lil goodrs are perfectly suited for petite noggins.
Ah the season of giving is upon us!!! And the best part about giving presents to others is knowing that now they're obligated to give a present to you that's just as good if not better. If they don't you'll take your revenge and they'll live to regret it. Classic shape with new levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you're hopping over flames or flippin' tires. 'We dug up Carl the Flamingo's Grandma's grave to steal her 'Special Gingerbread Recipe.'What? Carl wouldn't share it or even say what it's for. Anyway great news. THE RECIPE WAS IN HER POCKET!!!But bad news the recipe was for 'Cranberry Sauce Gingerbread Shrimpballs.' It sounded so gross we barfed all over the Pet Cemetery.But it wasn't a total loss. On the back there was ANOTHER gingerbread recipe for something that sounded SO. FLOCKING. AMAZING.We made it. And we'll share it with you. But if you ask us how to make it yourself sorry...You'll Never Get This Recipe (Note: Do not eat gingerbread sunnies unless you hate your teeth & intestines.).' Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.