Ah the season of giving is upon us!!! And the best part about giving presents to others is knowing that now they're obligated to give a present to you that's just as good if not better. If they don't you'll take your revenge and they'll live to regret it. Classic shape with new levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you're hopping over flames or flippin' tires. 'We dug up Carl the Flamingo's Grandma's grave to steal her 'Special Gingerbread Recipe.'What? Carl wouldn't share it or even say what it's for. Anyway great news. THE RECIPE WAS IN HER POCKET!!!But bad news the recipe was for 'Cranberry Sauce Gingerbread Shrimpballs.' It sounded so gross we barfed all over the Pet Cemetery.But it wasn't a total loss. On the back there was ANOTHER gingerbread recipe for something that sounded SO. FLOCKING. AMAZING.We made it. And we'll share it with you. But if you ask us how to make it yourself sorry...You'll Never Get This Recipe (Note: Do not eat gingerbread sunnies unless you hate your teeth & intestines.).' Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS Hades gets a bad wrap. Let's compliment the God of the Dead.1.GREAT ruler. The Underworld attracts more than 50 million permanent visitors a year!2. HE HAS A DOGGO!!! When Cerberus gives Hades three-headed dog kisses it's so cute.3. He's not petty or vain. So he probably won't like these compliments. Oh well! Hades Gonna Hate*.*These sunglasses won't slip or bounce while crossing the river Styx. Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
FOR THE SCHOLAR ON A BUDGET: PHG Sometimes they wear tuxedos. Sometimes they wear tweed jackets. Depends on the vibe. They like their coffee mugs secretly full of wine shaken not stirred. Not sure why. It makes a lot of stains. And they're not fast lovers. They're very slow. Like turtles. Reeeaaalllyy taking their time. These sunnies won't slip or bounce while you you sip secret wine and make turtle-like love to a fellow doctor. (WE ARE TOO 'REAL' DOCTORS MOM & DAD!!!) No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. No Dissertation: no one has ever given a dissertation to a doctorate panel wearing PHGs. Yet.
FOR THE SCHOLAR ON A BUDGET: PHG Have you ever dreamed of starting your life over as a prospector on an off-world colony mining orgone crystals in outer space?! This gray double bridge round sunglasses can be considered a writeoff then. Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. No Dissertation: no one has ever given a dissertation to a doctorate panel wearing PHGs. Yet.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS This is Ares. He has like... no chill. Don't piss him off unless you want him to jab you with that pointy spear. He is filled with rage AND he loves gore. We just hope you've had your tetanus shot. Although no tetanus shot is required for these Ares Has Like...No Chill sunnies. Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
TROPICAL OPTICALS: STEP INTO SUMMERTIME Welcome ashore! Meet TROPICAL OPTICALS our all-new line of sunnies. These island-themed goodrs will have you knee-deep in rum and beach vibes before you can say 'Carl caught curled krill by the colorful coral.' Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Hipster/Influencer/Dystopian Future Rebel:Whatever persona you're channeling we guarantee no one wearing goodrs has ever been mistaken for not being cool. Or dope. Or whatever the lit people are saying these days.
COSMIC CRYSTALS: OUR NEWEST CELESTIAL OFFERING Have you manifested your Cosmic Crystal yet? Chiseled directly from the mines of your newly opened heart space these Crystals are The Answer from The Universe you have been seeking. Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Hipster/Influencer/Dystopian Future Rebel:Whatever persona you're channeling we guarantee no one wearing goodrs has ever been mistaken for not being cool. Or dope. Or whatever the lit people are saying these days.
We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. OUR NEWEST STYLE THE VRGs A new shape with the same levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
INTRODUCING SEE YOU AT THE PARTY RICHTER. Congrats! You won a vacation! And by "vacation" we mean our clumsy goons will dig into your brain and implant false memories of — ohhhh no we're getting shut down for violating ethics laws. Whoops-a-daisy. Well forget the vacation. Buy these shades! (And if you think you already bought them you're wrong that's a false memory.) We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. OUR NEWEST STYLE THE VRGs New shape with the same levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. OUR NEWEST STYLE THE VRGs A new shape with the same levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. OUR NEWEST STYLE THE VRGs New shape with the same levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
PSSST...C'MERE. CRAZY EDDY WANTS TO TELL YOU A SECRET. EXTREME DUMPSTER DIVING IS THE NEXT BIG THING!!!!! NEED A NEW LAPTOP? THE DUMPSTER BEHIND THE WATER RECLAMATION PLANT IS A GOLD MINE. GRAB A CELL PHONE TOO! JUST REMEMBER TO PUT ON YOUR WRAP G SUNNIES FIRST. THEY WON'T FOG UP ON THE STEAMIEST OF HEADS OR IN THE FOULEST OF STENCHES. Features No Slip: We use a special grip coating and temple grips to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when your lava-induced sweat pops while volcano surfing. No Bounce: Our frame is fitted and lightweight with a removable nose-piece and two sizing options to prevent bouncing when you land on your motorcycle seat after diving out of a helicopter. Anti-Fog: Extremely effective anti-fog coating prevents the inside of this extreme wraparound lens from fogging even with the extremest sweat. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun: YOU MIGHT BE AN EXTREME ATHLETE YOU MIGHT BE A PRETTY AVERAGE ATHLETE WHO IS EXTREMELY DELUSIONAL. BOTH EXTREMELY EXTREME EXTREMISTS YEAHHHHHAHARGHHHHHWOOOOOHOOOOOOO