Bosley dog of goodr is a living (for now) legend at 91. What does Bosley King of Hounds dream about? Whatever the heck wants. THE OGs: THE FRAMES THAT STARTED IT ALL Classic shape with new levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you're haulin' ass down a mountain trail or drinking beers in a Mexican cantina. No Slip: Special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: The frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: Glare-reducing polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
INTRODUCING OPERATION: BLACKOUT When you wear these all black Mach G sunglasses you don't just join an elite sky force. You also earn the title Basic Bitch. That’s right. You heard us. BASIC BITCH: Badass Aviator Speeding Into Clouds Best In The Cockpit Hahaha. So own it. You basic and you know it. (Disclaimer: These sunnies will not make you better at backronyms.) GOODR + AVIATORS = MACH Gs Our MACH Gs are a classic aviator style made to give you the speed if you feel the need. Plus this smooth sleek frame means no unsightly imprints on your nose from those weird nose pads on traditional metal aviator frames. Features 1. NO SLIP: We use special grip coating and silicone nose inserts to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating. 2. NO BOUNCE: Our frame is flight-weight to prevent bouncing when running biking beasting or exceeding speeds of Mach 5.* (*Not tested at hypersonic speed but...we're pretty sure.) 3. ALL POLARISED: The speed of light got nothing on you. These glare-reducing polarised lenses with UV400 protection blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. 4. ALL SPEED: An all new shape built to give you the ultimate speed advantage whether you're crushing beers or crushing your competition. 5. FREE MILE HIGH CLUB MEMBERSHIP: Included with purchase.
RADICAL REFERENCES! Although inferior in all other ways to the sequel the best moment in the Original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comes when Michelangelo and Donatello are watching the tortoise and the hare. Hence we created these tortoiseshell sunnies “Ninja Kick the Damn Rabbit.” Ninja kicking is actually a valid strategy for winning any race! BAMF Gs: BEAST [BLEEPING] GOODRS With wider frames longer arms and bigger lenses than our OGs these babies are designed to complement and fit beasters with larger melons. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. No Demogorgans: 100% Guarantee against Demogorgan attacks. *Guarantee not applicable for any gainz taking place in the Upside Down.
INTRODUCING I DO TO THE OPEN BAR Do you lonely single person take this boring wedding's open bar to be your nightlong partner to perch at and abuse from this moment forward for happy-drunk and for sad-drunk for awkward comments to friends and for awkward comments to strangers in sickness tonight and in sickness tomorrow to love deeply and to twerk on top of till security drags you out of the banquet hall kicking and screaming? Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIL F*KIN GOODRS: SMALLER IS BALLER A bigger head doesn't mean that you're smarter it just means you have a bigger head...It also means that you can't get on my level with these new perfectly petite Get On My Level LFG sunnies made for small noggins...So there. SHRIMPIN AIN'T EASY If you've ever been turned away from a roller coaster for being too short to ride you know...It ain't easy out here for a shrimp. Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running or crushing any workout. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. Perfectly Petite: These lil goodrs are perfectly suited for petite noggins.
THE ULTIMATE PARTY DRINK These tropical blue and yellow shades are named for the best solution for getting a charlie horse in your calf at mile 17: Pineapple painkillers. That's right this delightful cocktail 2 parts rum 4 parts pineapple juice (with anti-inflammatory bromelain!) 1 part orange juice and coconut cream is what Carl reaches for when he's run out of piña colada mix (he obviously doesn't realize that he could make a piña with these ingredients...oh Carl). It doesn't actually help the cramp but you'll get such a bad side cramp after you slam the drink you won't remember the charlie horse! Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
Classic shape with new levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you're haulin' ass down a mountain trail or drinking beers in a Mexican cantina.These are black like "A Ginger's Soul." (Get it?) Black frames with black lenses. We know what you're thinking...do gingers even have souls? They do. And they're black AF.NO SLIP. NO BOUNCE. ALL FUN.No Slip - We use special grip coating to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating.,No Bounce - Our frame is snug and light-weight, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running.,No Leopards - Plus, no one wearing goodr running sunglasses has ever been attacked by a leopard (as far as we know).,.Made For:Running,.Great For:Biking,Beasting,.A Gingers Soul Origin Story:Most people get it wrong,Thinking a soul is something Gingers lack,When the truth of it is,Gingers all have souls (it’s just that they are black).– Introductory stanza to the 18th-century epic poem, “A Ginger‘s Soul” written by Ebeneezer Von Goodrsmark, dog lover and founder of goodr
Classic shape with new levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you're haulin' ass down a mountain trail or drinking beers in a Mexican cantina.While it might be the magic that gets them all the love, we prefer to celebrate wizards for their panache: capes, pointy hats, and, beards. But just wait until you see one on their beach run rocking these fresh blue shades with gold lenses. Abracadabra, Muggles.NO SLIP. NO BOUNCE. ALL FUN.No Slip - We use special grip coating to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating.,No Bounce - Our frame is snug and light-weight, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running.,No Leopards - Plus, no one wearing goodr running sunglasses has ever been attacked by a leopard (as far as we know).,.Made For:Running,.Great For:Biking,Beasting,.Sunbathing with Wizards Origin Story:The Myrddin Emrys Memorial Resort & Spa for Practitioners of Sorcery and the Magically Inclined (or simply “The Myr” for those in the know) is located exactly where one would not expect it to be, which makes it makes it particularly difficult to find for those who actually would like to locate it. Really, speaking in a strictly physical sense, the Spa is not “located” anywhere accessible by typical transport. As such, only those with invitations may visit The Myr.This feature was no accident, of course, as wizards (a class to which the founders of The Myr belonged) never do anything they do not mean to do. As it turns out, vendors of all types are constantly hoping and trying to get a practitioner of sorcery or one of the magically inclined to endorse their products. Such an endorsement can mean the difference between a life struggling in backwater flea markets and running a booming retail empire. But practitioners are stingy with their endorsements and will only lend their name to those products with which they have formed a deep connection, usually through use in stressful situations, like battles with Sauron or Voldemort. (Fuck that clown we’re not scared of saying his name)Back before goodr was an internationally recognized brand, the founders would try everything to get their products in the hands of anyone who could help to bring recognition to their brand. So when the goodr founders learned that both Dumbledore and Gandalf the White were avid trail runners, they knew that they had to get the goodr Running Sunglasses in the hands of the two great wizards. Both wizards often vacationed together at The Myr and so it was decided that they would try to kill two birds with one stone by convincing them both to endorse the goodr Running Sunglasses by approaching them at The Myr.Now, as mentioned earlier, one does not simply walk into The Myr. Its gates are guarded by more than just bellhops. There is relentless hospitality there that does not sleep, and the hotel manager is ever watchful. It is a luxurious dreamland, riddled with fresh linen and pillow mints and free bathrobes, the very air you breathe is a green fig fragrance. Not with ten thousand men could you simply walk in. It is folly.But the goodr founders are nothing if not foolish. After months of research and many failed attempts, the goodr founders learned that The Myr was constantly on the lookout for pool boys to assist with the resort’s hugely popular magical lagoon. By fabricating elaborate pool boy resumes and fake references from the swankiest hotels across the world, the goodr founders secured positions as pool boys at the Myr. From there it was a simple matter of making sure that they were placed on sunscreen duty when Dumbledore and Gandalf would come down for their daily sunbathing appointment. Typically, the pool boys at The Myr loathed sunscreen duty as it required them to apply and rub in generous amounts of speciality sunscreen to the various guests of the lagoon, which could take a good deal of time depending on the proclivities of the guests. But the goodr founders knew that this would give them the time needed to pitch their Running Sunglasses to the great wizards.After several weeks of biding their time, the moment finally came and the two wizards called the goodr founders over to apply the sunscreen. The goodr founders were ecstatic and blessed the gods for their great luck when the wizards began discussing their last trail run. Not surprisingly, wizards do not frequent the same trails as mere mortals. Gandalf’s had just returned from running Lhotse, while Dumbledore had enjoyed the views at Aconcagua.As the wizards traded stories of their adventures, the goodr founders mustered their courage and broke in to ask the wizards what kind of sunglasses they wore while up at those extreme altitudes. After recovering from the shock of having a pool boy interrupt them (a rule that was never broken), the two dismissively stated that they never run with sunglasses as all running sunglasses look awful and are not befitting of a wizard’s carefully crafted aesthetics.With that, the goodr founders produced the goodr Running Sunglasses and handed them to the sceptical wizards. They were immediately taken with their classic, yet fun design, though the wizards questioned whether sunglasses that stylish could be used for running. The goodr founders, confident in their product, insisted that the wizards try them and see. And before they could take their next breath, the goodr founders found themselves transported to the base of Mt. Kilimanjaro. The goodr founders watched in awe as two specs at the peak of Kilimanjaro swiftly descended down the mountain to where they stood.Upon reaching the goodr founders, the two wizards extended their hands as they congratulated the goodr founder on creating the most astonishing and attractive pair of running sunglasses they had ever worn. The two wizards immediately agreed to endorse the sunglasses, which launched goodr from a little-known brand to one of the largest sunglass companies in the world. After this momentous event, the goodr founders dubbed their newest colour scheme “Sunbathing with Wizards” to honour the event that helped to make them so successful.As a post-script, the goodr founders, Dumbledore and Gandalf remain in contact to this day and are actually the members of a barbershop quartet, which plays bi-monthly at Maggie’s Pub and Eatery in Beaufort, South Carolina.
Classic shape with new levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you're haulin' ass down a mountain trail or drinking beers in a Mexican cantina.After procuring the requisite saltwater taffy/mescaline composite they demand to fill the holes in their souls, Mick and Keith went for a jog in the black of night and came across a river so blue they could barely believe it. Inspired by that Legendary night we created these black and blue sunglasses.NO SLIP. NO BOUNCE. ALL FUN.No Slip - We use special grip coating to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating.,No Bounce - Our frame is snug and light-weight, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running.,No Leopards - Plus, no one wearing goodr running sunglasses has ever been attacked by a leopard (as far as we know).,.Made For:Running,.Great For:Biking,Beasting,.Mick and Keiths Midnight Ramble Origin Story:The night Mick Jagger and Keith Richards wrote Midnight Rambler, the legendary duo not only managed to write one of the most classic rock and roll songs in their extensive repetoire but they also had one hell of an epic night. We would recount the story for you, but frankly we don’t know the details.
Classic shape with new levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you're haulin' ass down a mountain trail or drinking beers in a Mexican cantina.You read that correctly. We are encouraging you to drink some of that sweet amber liquor with the Prince of Darkness. Don't let Satan's reputation (or love of ironic eternal punishments) scare you away; he just wants to be your running buddy. So go on, throw on these amber and black shades and do some Whiskey Shots with Satan.No slip. No Bounce. All fun.No Slip - We use special grip coating to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating.,No Bounce - Our frame is snug and light-weight, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running.,No Leopards - Plus, no one wearing goodr running sunglasses has ever been attacked by a leopard (as far as we know).,.Made For:Running,.Great For:Biking,Beasting,.Whiskey Shots with Satan Origin Story:When Satan appeared in the middle of a meeting of goodr’s Board of Directors we were all actually quite pleased as it was a nice respite from the awful powerpoint presentation that Rob was droning over. After making brief introductions around the table, the Prince of Darkness got down to brass tacks: he wanted our souls and was willing to give us most anything we wanted in return. Before we could start negotiating, Rob blubbered something about his immortal soul being worth far more than any earthly reward and then tried to run out of the boardroom. Luckily, one of the board members had tied Rob’s shoelaces together (as is tradition), so Rob promptly tripped, hit his head on the side of the boardroom table and then lay mercifully unconscious while the rest of the grown-ups got back to the business at hand.After discussing Lucifer’s proposal amongst ourselves, we decided that a simple exchange of souls for Satanic promises was not very sporting, so we made a counterproposal that we would instead make a bet. Well, when the Devil is down in Georgia he may challenge the yokels sitting on hickory stumps to fiddle contests, but when he’s bargaining with the folks at goodr, he knows the way to our souls is through a few alcoholic beverages.With that in mind, Beelzebub quickly proposed a drinking contest: the 7 members of the goodr board of directors vs. the Father of Lies himself. If the Abaddon won, he would get our souls. If we won, we would get a dinosaur shrunken down to the size of a house cat.Being the courteous hosts, we, of course, allowed the Angel of the Bottomless Pit to choose his drink of choice. We were pleasantly surprised when he produced several bottles of Bulleit Bourbon (10 year); a sophisticated, yet unpretentious choice. With the whiskey selected, all parties shook hands and the contest began. The Adversary would take a shot, and then one of our number would take a shot. And so it proceeded for 4 hours.On his 42nd shot, the Accuser tipped back the whiskey into his gullet and almost immediately placed his hands over his mouth. His cheeks puffed with demonic bile and his eyes began to water. We all held our breath as the Morning Star attempted to swallow his shame. But just as it seemed he might pull it together, another convulsion wracked the body of the Lord of Hell and the vomit spilled onto the floor (and Rob, who was still unconscious).We gave a hearty cheer and exchanged several high fives. The Beast quietly cleaned the vomit from his face and graciously bowed, indicating that we had indeed bested him. Not wanting to be ungracious winners, we declared that we would name our black sunglasses “Whiskey Shots with Satan” as a commemoration of this most epic of contests. We also offered Rob’s soul as a sort of parting gift, which none of us felt particularly bad about because Rob had subjected us to that awful powerpoint. The Dark Lord gracefully accepted our gifts and disappeared in a puff of sulfuric smoke.It had been a hell of a board meeting and we all agreed Pina Coladas were in order.Hail Satan..
Classic shape with new levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you're haulin' ass down a mountain trail or drinking beers in a Mexican cantina.In honour of our CEO, Carl the Flamingo, these beauties are a tribute to his unbelievably pink feathers and shockingly teal eyes. Try these on your next run to be transported to Carl's flamingo yacht, where the piña coladas flow and beautiful flamingos flock like the salmon of Capistrano.NO SLIP. NO BOUNCE. ALL FUN.No Slip - We use special grip coating to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating.,No Bounce - Our frame is snug and light-weight, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running.,No Leopards - Plus, no one wearing goodr running sunglasses has ever been attacked by a leopard (as far as we know).,.Made For:Running,.Great For:Biking,Beasting,.Flamingos on a Booze Cruise Origin Story:Back in the summer of ’71, the Board of Directors of goodr met in the Cancun office, which was located on one of the many pristine beaches in the area. Halfway through the morning board meeting, we ran out of rum for the Pina Coladas because Rob couldn’t handle the one fucking job we gave him. Unwilling to entertain the idea of a board meeting without Pina Coladas, we decided to call a recess to the meeting while we ventured into town to acquire more rum.Maybe it was the solid pina colada buzz we had going or the fact that we had appointed Rob as the navigator, but at some point, we realized that we had lost the road into town and were now hopelessly lost in the surrounding jungle. After spending 10 minutes roundly criticizing Rob for being a complete f*ck up, an uneasy feeling that we were being watched crept over us. Suddenly, four flamingos appeared out of the brush, their feathers unbelievably pink and eyes a shocking teal. We stood dumbfounded, unsure whether we should make ourselves look big to scare them off or play dead and just hope they went away.The tallest of the four approached us, and with a heavy French accent and a surprisingly deep voice, he introduced himself as Carl, King of the Flamingos. Carl explained that we had wandered far from the town and that it would be dangerous to backtrack through the jungle due to the nocturnal jaguars that roamed there at night. In keeping with their reputation for being the most generous species in the animal kingdom, Carl invited to take all of us back (even Rob) to our office via the river that leads to the ocean. Our transport would be Carl’s extravagant flamingo yacht, which happened to be stocked with all of the Pina Coladas we could desire. Not wanting to insult the King of the Flamingos, we of course accepted and were treated to the greatest booze cruise of our lives. The flamingo booze flowed like water and we partied all night and toasted many times to our generous hosts.Some might claim this story to be a lie or that it was a result of the fact that our pina colada recipe calls for a heavy dose of LSD. But despite these naysayers, we know the truth of that adventure and in commemoration and celebration of the greatest flamingo in history and the booze cruise he took us on, we have created these sunglasses and named them “Flamingos on a Booze Cruise” in Carl’s honour.
Classic shape with new levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you're haulin' ass down a mountain trail or drinking beers in a Mexican cantina.Pro tip: forget sucking oxygen at some aid station, that's for losers and weaklings. Instead, try silver spray paint while rocking these gray and chrome shades. You may not receive the same benefits as oxygen, but you'll be flying to Valhalla, guaranteed.NO SLIP. NO BOUNCE. ALL FUN.No Slip - We use special grip coating to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating.,No Bounce - Our frame is snug and light-weight, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running.,No Leopards - Plus, no one wearing goodr running sunglasses has ever been attacked by a leopard (as far as we know).,.Made For:Running,.Great For:Biking,Beasting,.Going to Valhalla Origin Story:Excerpt from George Miller’s Diary, December 17, 1992This Outback Outhouse was exactly as you would expect it to be, the stench of urinal cakes and meat pie blow outs permeated the air for miles around; but at mile 43 in a trail race across the Tanami Desert in Australia being chased by Koalaroos, you take what you can get.As the door swung open, propelled by some kind of invisible spring-loaded magic, there hung a silver vending machine directly over a lustrous silver throne. I was losing time in the race, but no bother, this machine had to be investigated. After 17 wooden nickels and three swift turns of the glistening silver knob, a spray can with a haiku etched around the top was dispensed. I read aloud the simple poem:Witness Valhalla!True Glory EverlastingSilver Shine, Press HereAnd followed the instruction. As the silver spray burst forth, I was flung into deep space. I flew over the desert as smash-cut images filled the panorama: pregnant goddesses dressed in white — thirsty starving masses begging for water — trucks racing through the desert — electric-guitar-playing blind freaks suspended in front of a vehicle — and I knew, my fourth Mad Max film had to be written.The next thing I know, I awoke in a motel 6 in Kearney, Nebraska, United States, in a haze of silver spray paint, the full screenplay painted on the walls, floor and linens. I never did finish that race (or at least I never picked up my finisher’s medal).