LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS Yes wretched mortal I am thy God of Art!!! Subscribe to my YouTube channel and smash that like button so thou dost not get smited. Plus I am thy God of archery music and dance. Mine own godly twerking puts Megan Thee Stallion to shame! Also I am thy God of truth and prophecy healing and diseases the Sun and light and poetry. Liketh it not? Too many things-eth? WELL TOO F***ING-ETH BAD!!!Apollo-Gize for Nothing Specifications Non-Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
'His famed Starry Night painting was inspired from an overnight 72K race he lost to Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec. You can't make this stuff up sober.' Classic shape with new levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you're haulin' ass down a mountain trail or drinking beers in a Mexican cantina. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
Ah the season of giving is upon us!!! And the best part about giving presents to others is knowing that now they're obligated to give a present to you that's just as good if not better. If they don't you'll take your revenge and they'll live to regret it. Classic shape with new levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you're hopping over flames or flippin' tires. 'We dug up Carl the Flamingo's Grandma's grave to steal her 'Special Gingerbread Recipe.'What? Carl wouldn't share it or even say what it's for. Anyway great news. THE RECIPE WAS IN HER POCKET!!!But bad news the recipe was for 'Cranberry Sauce Gingerbread Shrimpballs.' It sounded so gross we barfed all over the Pet Cemetery.But it wasn't a total loss. On the back there was ANOTHER gingerbread recipe for something that sounded SO. FLOCKING. AMAZING.We made it. And we'll share it with you. But if you ask us how to make it yourself sorry...You'll Never Get This Recipe (Note: Do not eat gingerbread sunnies unless you hate your teeth & intestines.).' Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIL F*KIN GOODRS: SMALLER IS BALLER A bigger head doesn't mean that you're smarter it just means you have a bigger head...It also means that you can't get on my level with these new perfectly petite Get On My Level LFG sunnies made for small noggins...So there. NEVER THE BIG SPOON Could you actually be royalty?!Carl the Flamingo recently made a shocking discovery about his own noble ancestry. Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running or crushing any workout. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. Perfectly Petite: These lil goodrs are perfectly suited for petite noggins.
LIL F*KIN GOODRS: SMALLER IS BALLER A bigger head doesn't mean that you're smarter it just means you have a bigger head...It also means that you can't get on my level with these new perfectly petite Get On My Level LFG sunnies made for small noggins...So there. MIDDLE SEAT ADVANTAGE We know what you're thinking the middle seat SUCKS.That's where you're wrong. The middle seat is where the best action is!!! Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running or crushing any workout. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. Perfectly Petite: These lil goodrs are perfectly suited for petite noggins.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS You know how you get all that junk mail advertising cheap microwaves and 12-packs of taquitos for $0.69 and you just toss it in the trash without a second thought? Where do you think it all goes? The landfill? Nah Hermes thrives off that sh*t. Swooping in and living it up on all your discarded doorbuster deals. Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS OF COURSE everyone came!!! Everyone knows Dionysus the god of wine general ecstasy fruits & vegetables (many of them phallic) throws THE best orgies in town.*(*Well maybe after Carl the Flamingo.) Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS Petrified of being petrified by Medusa? These shades will 100% help. They're inspired by Athena goddess of warfare wisdom and handicraft. (Oooh triple major.) She DESTROYED the arrogant Arachne in a weaving duel. (Weaving duels were the rap battles of The Old Days.) She sprang from the head of Zeus when he developed a nasty headache. (Ticking off toxic dudes from birth? Yasss kween.) AND she rocks Medusa's head on her shield to turn enemies to stone. (Weird flex but ok.) Hey it's just how she rolls. Athena Is as Athena Does. Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
THE ULTIMATE PARTY DRINK These tropical blue and yellow shades are named for the best solution for getting a charlie horse in your calf at mile 17: Pineapple painkillers. That's right this delightful cocktail 2 parts rum 4 parts pineapple juice (with anti-inflammatory bromelain!) 1 part orange juice and coconut cream is what Carl reaches for when he's run out of piña colada mix (he obviously doesn't realize that he could make a piña with these ingredients...oh Carl). It doesn't actually help the cramp but you'll get such a bad side cramp after you slam the drink you won't remember the charlie horse! Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
Introducing the new Circle Gs! Goodr designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re doing squats with a dog in your arms or sipping a nitro cold brew. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Hipster/Influencer/Dystopian Rebel.
LIL F*KIN GOODRS: SMALLER IS BALLER A bigger head doesn't mean that you're smarter it just means you have a bigger head...It also means that you can't get on my level with these new perfectly petite Get On My Level LFG sunnies made for small noggins...So there. SHRIMPIN AIN'T EASY If you've ever been turned away from a roller coaster for being too short to ride you know...It ain't easy out here for a shrimp. Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running or crushing any workout. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. Perfectly Petite: These lil goodrs are perfectly suited for petite noggins.
Bosley dog of goodr is a living (for now) legend at 91. What does Bosley King of Hounds dream about? Whatever the heck wants. THE OGs: THE FRAMES THAT STARTED IT ALL Classic shape with new levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you're haulin' ass down a mountain trail or drinking beers in a Mexican cantina. No Slip: Special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: The frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: Glare-reducing polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.