BUZZED ON THE TOWER Meet Alexia goodr's Money Honey. (And yes that's her official title.) Think she looks like a badass? That's because she is one. And also because the Mach Gs add a badassness quotient to your own inherent badassness. And - oh no. This photo. There's too much badassness. It's going to blow! Run. Run! RUN!!!!! GOODR + AVIATORS = MACH Gs Our MACH Gs are a classic aviator style made to give you the speed if you feel the need. Plus this smooth sleek frame means no unsightly imprints on your nose from those weird nose pads on traditional metal aviator frames. 1. NO SLIPWe use special grip coating and silicone nose inserts to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating. 2. NO BOUNCEOur frame is flight-weight to prevent bouncing when running biking beasting or exceeding speeds of Mach 5.**Not tested at hypersonic speed but...we’re pretty sure. 3. ALL POLARIZEDThe speed of light got nothing on you. These glare-reducing polarized lenses with UV400 protection blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. 4. ALL SPEEDAn all new shape built to give you the ultimate speed advantage whether you're crushing beers or crushing your competition. 5. FREE MILE HIGH CLUB MEMBERSHIPIncluded with purchase.
THIS IS A FICTIONAL DEPICTION OF THE REAL CAPTAIN BLUNT... He's a commercial airline pilot and Navy Captain who once saved a Boeing 747-400 full of people from going down after it lost an engine. That hero isn’t on social media so we can't tag him. But if you give him the recognition he deserves in the comments we’ll print them out sit him down on our lap and read them aloud to him like it’s geriatric story time. GOODR + AVIATORS = MACH Gs Our MACH Gs are a classic aviator style made to give you the speed if you feel the need. Plus this smooth sleek frame means no unsightly imprints on your nose from those weird nose pads on traditional metal aviator frames. 1. NO SLIPWe use special grip coating and silicone nose inserts to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating. 2. NO BOUNCEOur frame is flight-weight to prevent bouncing when running biking beasting or exceeding speeds of Mach 5.**Not tested at hypersonic speed but...we’re pretty sure. 3. ALL POLARIZEDThe speed of light got nothing on you. These glare-reducing polarized lenses with UV400 protection blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. 4. ALL SPEEDAn all new shape built to give you the ultimate speed advantage whether you're crushing beers or crushing your competition. 5. FREE MILE HIGH CLUB MEMBERSHIPIncluded with purchase.
They open up a magical new world. Then they get way too challenging and we scream curse words and want to throw them at the wall until they smash into pieces. You can't really throw your marriage at the wall since marriage is just a concept...maybe your wedding ring? A framed photo? Anyway these rose frames with clear lenses will make everything better. Video games are hard sometimes. BLUE MIRAGE TECHNOLOGY Is blue light bad for your eyes? That's a trick question. We have no f#^#ing idea. But SOME scientists say it causes eye strain fatigue headaches & tail growth. So just to be safe we made these glasses with the ability to block blue light. Blue Mirage Technology: Our blue light blocking lenses definitely block blue light. The jury is out on whether blue light actually hurts our eyes or not but who cares? You look important in these so go ahead and block those nasty blue light. No Slip: We use special grip coating to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: Our frame is crafted to be feather-weight yet snug with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing when running. All Fashion: Look like a model while you’re gaming. Isn’t that why you’re taking all those selfies? No Spoiled Easter Eggs: No one wearing goodrs with Blue Mirage Technology has ever left a dyed egg out past it’s expiration date. They have however ruined many in-game surprises for people.
INTRODUCING SEE YOU AT THE PARTY RICHTER. Congrats! You won a vacation! And by "vacation" we mean our clumsy goons will dig into your brain and implant false memories of — ohhhh no we're getting shut down for violating ethics laws. Whoops-a-daisy. Well forget the vacation. Buy these shades! (And if you think you already bought them you're wrong that's a false memory.) We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. OUR NEWEST STYLE THE VRGs New shape with the same levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. OUR NEWEST STYLE THE VRGs A new shape with the same levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
FOR THE SCHOLAR ON A BUDGET: PHG Sometimes they wear tuxedos. Sometimes they wear tweed jackets. Depends on the vibe. They like their coffee mugs secretly full of wine shaken not stirred. Not sure why. It makes a lot of stains. And they're not fast lovers. They're very slow. Like turtles. Reeeaaalllyy taking their time. These sunnies won't slip or bounce while you you sip secret wine and make turtle-like love to a fellow doctor. (WE ARE TOO 'REAL' DOCTORS MOM & DAD!!!) No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. No Dissertation: no one has ever given a dissertation to a doctorate panel wearing PHGs. Yet.
COSMIC CRYSTALS: OUR NEWEST CELESTIAL OFFERING Have you manifested your Cosmic Crystal yet? Chiseled directly from the mines of your newly opened heart space these Crystals are The Answer from The Universe you have been seeking. Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Hipster/Influencer/Dystopian Future Rebel:Whatever persona you're channeling we guarantee no one wearing goodrs has ever been mistaken for not being cool. Or dope. Or whatever the lit people are saying these days.
INTRODUCING VEGAN FRIENDLY COUTURE. You’re getting ready for work and telling yourself you look purrfect. But when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror you know you're lion. If you go to the office like this you'll be a social leopard! Something's missing so you take a deep breath and paws. Then you realize these gold and brown patterned sunglasses will give you the eye of the tiger. Beaming with pride you leave home ready to roar! (And the first item on your to-do list is to fire that pun-loving copywriter Klaus.) Features No Slip: Lightly-textured silicone earpieces use the all new goodr Cat Tongue Technology to offer enhanced protection against slippage. No Bounce: Our frame is crafted to be feather-weight yet snug with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing when running. All Polarised: Glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fashion: Look like a model while you're running. Isn't that why you're taking all those running selfies? No Catcalls: We aspire to the day we can guarantee that you won't be whistled at on the street sadly we cannot make that guarantee. We CAN however guarantee that no person wearing Runway goodrs has ever been telephoned by a cat.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS This is Ares. He has like... no chill. Don't piss him off unless you want him to jab you with that pointy spear. He is filled with rage AND he loves gore. We just hope you've had your tetanus shot. Although no tetanus shot is required for these Ares Has Like...No Chill sunnies. Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS "You are cordially invited to Demeter's Farm to Table Feast. Please follow the rules.1. If you sneak in any store-bought trash like "mayochup" she will turn you into a gecko.2. Don't ask Demeter when she's getting married. She's not. Get over it Rhea.3. NO PHONES AT THE TABLE PERSEPHONE. Mama only sees you 6 months a year.4. Whoever brings up politics gets three months of famine.5. Wear her sunnies because they don't slip or bounce AND you can sneakily check everyone out in their skimpy togas.Sincerely Demeter. Yes I'm writing about myself in the 3rd person. So what? FIGHT ME." Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS Hades gets a bad wrap. Let's compliment the God of the Dead.1.GREAT ruler. The Underworld attracts more than 50 million permanent visitors a year!2. HE HAS A DOGGO!!! When Cerberus gives Hades three-headed dog kisses it's so cute.3. He's not petty or vain. So he probably won't like these compliments. Oh well! Hades Gonna Hate*.*These sunglasses won't slip or bounce while crossing the river Styx. Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
NOT JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE Nothing takes the edge off the first tee like a strong bloody. Calm those nerves with the soothing touch of tomato-colored frames and celery-inspired grips while seeing the world through these crispy-bacon copper lenses. You’ll gladly tee head back to the cart put your feet up grab your bloody Grip It and Sip It. FLAMINGO EYE™ TECHNOLOGY We wholeheartedly believe here at goodr that golf is fun. Why does it have to be so serious? Lighten up! For that reason we have dubbed our golf-specific lens “Flamingo Eye™ Technology.” All the HD contrast and performance without any of the self-importance. FLAMINGO EYE™ TECHNOLOGY: polarised lenses enhance the colors on the course so you can see your ball as you sink your hole in one NO SLIP: We use enhanced silicone inserts with special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sinking that flamingo putt.**Flamingo is the new universally accepted official term for bogey. NO BOUNCE: Our frame is snug and lightweight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while you're swinging out of your shoes. ALL COVERAGE: Wider polarised lenses provide more coverage which also acts as a great disguise when you order your 13th John Daly after the beer cart staff has cut you off. NO GOPHERS