THIS IS A FICTIONAL DEPICTION OF THE REAL CAPTAIN BLUNT... He's a commercial airline pilot and Navy Captain who once saved a Boeing 747-400 full of people from going down after it lost an engine. That hero isn’t on social media so we can't tag him. But if you give him the recognition he deserves in the comments we’ll print them out sit him down on our lap and read them aloud to him like it’s geriatric story time. GOODR + AVIATORS = MACH Gs Our MACH Gs are a classic aviator style made to give you the speed if you feel the need. Plus this smooth sleek frame means no unsightly imprints on your nose from those weird nose pads on traditional metal aviator frames. 1. NO SLIPWe use special grip coating and silicone nose inserts to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating. 2. NO BOUNCEOur frame is flight-weight to prevent bouncing when running biking beasting or exceeding speeds of Mach 5.**Not tested at hypersonic speed but...we’re pretty sure. 3. ALL POLARIZEDThe speed of light got nothing on you. These glare-reducing polarized lenses with UV400 protection blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. 4. ALL SPEEDAn all new shape built to give you the ultimate speed advantage whether you're crushing beers or crushing your competition. 5. FREE MILE HIGH CLUB MEMBERSHIPIncluded with purchase.
With sweet tea lenses and non-slip lemonade frames these beauties are a perfect blend of performance and fashion. FLAMINGO EYE™ TECHNOLOGY We wholeheartedly believe here at goodr that golf is fun. Why does it have to be so serious? Lighten up! For that reason we have dubbed our golf-specific lens “Flamingo Eye™ Technology.” All the HD contrast and performance without any of the self-importance. FLAMINGO EYE™ TECHNOLOGY: Polarized lenses enhance the colors on the course so you can see your ball as you sink your hole in one NO SLIP: We use enhanced silicone inserts with special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sinking that flamingo putt.**Flamingo is the new universally accepted official term for bogey. NO BOUNCE: Our frame is snug and lightweight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while you're swinging out of your shoes. NO SQUIRRELS
We often dream of a simpler time when Mario just moved left to right and your success on a level had nothing to do with depth perception. It relied entirely on luck and memorising patterns. In celebration of those glory days we made these white framed purple lensed beauties. Hopefully on Mario’s 87th concussion the sun won’t burn quite so bright. F*** the sun. Especially that angry one. GAMERS GO OUTSIDE TOO Classic shape with new levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you're running laps on a track or perfecting your avatar. No Slip: We use special grip coating to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: Our frame is crafted to be feather-weight yet snug with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing when running. All Polarised: Glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
They open up a magical new world. Then they get way too challenging and we scream curse words and want to throw them at the wall until they smash into pieces. You can't really throw your marriage at the wall since marriage is just a concept...maybe your wedding ring? A framed photo? Anyway these rose frames with clear lenses will make everything better. Video games are hard sometimes. BLUE MIRAGE TECHNOLOGY Is blue light bad for your eyes? That's a trick question. We have no f#^#ing idea. But SOME scientists say it causes eye strain fatigue headaches & tail growth. So just to be safe we made these glasses with the ability to block blue light. Blue Mirage Technology: Our blue light blocking lenses definitely block blue light. The jury is out on whether blue light actually hurts our eyes or not but who cares? You look important in these so go ahead and block those nasty blue light. No Slip: We use special grip coating to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: Our frame is crafted to be feather-weight yet snug with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing when running. All Fashion: Look like a model while you’re gaming. Isn’t that why you’re taking all those selfies? No Spoiled Easter Eggs: No one wearing goodrs with Blue Mirage Technology has ever left a dyed egg out past it’s expiration date. They have however ruined many in-game surprises for people.
INTRODUCING SEE YOU AT THE PARTY RICHTER. Congrats! You won a vacation! And by "vacation" we mean our clumsy goons will dig into your brain and implant false memories of — ohhhh no we're getting shut down for violating ethics laws. Whoops-a-daisy. Well forget the vacation. Buy these shades! (And if you think you already bought them you're wrong that's a false memory.) We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. OUR NEWEST STYLE THE VRGs New shape with the same levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. OUR NEWEST STYLE THE VRGs A new shape with the same levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. OUR NEWEST STYLE THE VRGs A new shape with the same levels of style and performance. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
PSSST...C'MERE. CRAZY EDDY WANTS TO TELL YOU A SECRET. EXTREME DUMPSTER DIVING IS THE NEXT BIG THING!!!!! NEED A NEW LAPTOP? THE DUMPSTER BEHIND THE WATER RECLAMATION PLANT IS A GOLD MINE. GRAB A CELL PHONE TOO! JUST REMEMBER TO PUT ON YOUR WRAP G SUNNIES FIRST. THEY WON'T FOG UP ON THE STEAMIEST OF HEADS OR IN THE FOULEST OF STENCHES. Features No Slip: We use a special grip coating and temple grips to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when your lava-induced sweat pops while volcano surfing. No Bounce: Our frame is fitted and lightweight with a removable nose-piece and two sizing options to prevent bouncing when you land on your motorcycle seat after diving out of a helicopter. Anti-Fog: Extremely effective anti-fog coating prevents the inside of this extreme wraparound lens from fogging even with the extremest sweat. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun: YOU MIGHT BE AN EXTREME ATHLETE YOU MIGHT BE A PRETTY AVERAGE ATHLETE WHO IS EXTREMELY DELUSIONAL. BOTH EXTREMELY EXTREME EXTREMISTS YEAHHHHHAHARGHHHHHWOOOOOHOOOOOOO
YOU'RE STUNTING You fall out of bed. You trip down the stairs. You pick up a tray full of drinks and walk into the patio door. You step on a rake. You ride your bike into a mailbox. You lean back in your chair fall and bonk your head on a fish tank. The glass breaks. Aquarium water and flopping fish rain down on you. Embarrassing moments? Nah. Just put on your Wrap Gs and act like it's intentional as you saucily quip 'I do my own Stunts!' Features No Slip: We use a special grip coating and temple grips to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when your lava-induced sweat pops while volcano surfing. No Bounce: Our frame is fitted and lightweight with a removable nose-piece and two sizing options to prevent bouncing when you land on your motorcycle seat after diving out of a helicopter. Anti-Fog: Extremely effective anti-fog coating prevents the inside of this extreme wraparound lens from fogging even with the extremest sweat. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun: YOU MIGHT BE AN EXTREME ATHLETE YOU MIGHT BE A PRETTY AVERAGE ATHLETE WHO IS EXTREMELY DELUSIONAL. BOTH EXTREMELY EXTREME EXTREMISTS YEAHHHHHAHARGHHHHHWOOOOOHOOOOOOO
THAT'S GNAR BRAH!!! DO YOU BLEED FLUORESCENT GREEN?! DOES YOUR PISS HAVE A HALF-LIFE OF 2.5 BAJILLION YEARS? DID YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER GROW A TAIL AFTER MAKING OUT WITH YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME?! THAT'S GNAR BRAH!!! NUCLEAR GNAR!!! Features No Slip: We use a special grip coating and temple grips to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when your lava-induced sweat pops while volcano surfing. No Bounce: Our frame is fitted and lightweight with a removable nose-piece and two sizing options to prevent bouncing when you land on your motorcycle seat after diving out of a helicopter. Anti-Fog: Extremely effective anti-fog coating prevents the inside of this extreme wraparound lens from fogging even with the extremest sweat. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun: YOU MIGHT BE AN EXTREME ATHLETE YOU MIGHT BE A PRETTY AVERAGE ATHLETE WHO IS EXTREMELY DELUSIONAL. BOTH EXTREMELY EXTREME EXTREMISTS YEAHHHHHAHARGHHHHHWOOOOOHOOOOOOO
FOR THE SCHOLAR ON A BUDGET: PHG Sometimes they wear tuxedos. Sometimes they wear tweed jackets. Depends on the vibe. They like their coffee mugs secretly full of wine shaken not stirred. Not sure why. It makes a lot of stains. And they're not fast lovers. They're very slow. Like turtles. Reeeaaalllyy taking their time. These sunnies won't slip or bounce while you you sip secret wine and make turtle-like love to a fellow doctor. (WE ARE TOO 'REAL' DOCTORS MOM & DAD!!!) No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. No Dissertation: no one has ever given a dissertation to a doctorate panel wearing PHGs. Yet.
COSMIC CRYSTALS: OUR NEWEST CELESTIAL OFFERING Have you manifested your Cosmic Crystal yet? Chiseled directly from the mines of your newly opened heart space these Crystals are The Answer from The Universe you have been seeking. Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Hipster/Influencer/Dystopian Future Rebel:Whatever persona you're channeling we guarantee no one wearing goodrs has ever been mistaken for not being cool. Or dope. Or whatever the lit people are saying these days.